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| ED|T`
¬CONFUSED
`friendship
`love
¬M|SS WESTMOOR HEADS
`volleyball camp
THOUGHT[s] OF THEE DAY` ¬ L|fe |s hard; the path |s rough; but |f you fall you need to tell yourself you got to get r|ght back up!!
¬ T|me |s an |llus|on, WE made up m|nutes; hours; seconds; today; tomorrow; yesterday;up we always end up worry|ng about yesterday or tomorrow so much that we forget to have t|me to just l|ve for the moment.
QUEST|ON OF THEE DAY`
¬ Ter| where d|d you poof to?
REGULARS`
¬ MOOD`feel|ng purty bad
¬ SP|NN|N` can you help me
¬ DO|NG` th|nk|n bout some purty deep shat
¬ W|SH|N` | knew what to do & yes had some company
REW|ND`
MONDAY;
Well monday |went to camp as a fr|end w|th raean. Got there late but r|ght when | walked |n freak|ng |r|s, Kathy, Ava, Jenn, & |ono who else came runn|ng to me & almost ran me over! Well everyone of them except Cheralyn, thank God, she wa|ted pat|ntly, pol|tly, then gave me a FAT hug. Well the whole day Coach was be|ng a d|ck err. Lunch came around, f|nally | got to go "OFF CAMPUS." Blah blah blah then we headed back, we were k|nda late, o well. but then end of that day k|nda sucked AsS. When | got home |ym not really sure what else | d|d? All | remember was talk|ng to TER|. Yes |r|s, lol TER|!
TUESDAY; BOR|NG, but | talked to Ter| blah blah blah.Talked to mar|e, damn been hella days!
WEDNESDAY; Started of as a bor|ng day, went to watch movies w|th my l|l s|s. STEPFORD W|VES, |t was ok | was suppose to watch WH|TE CH|CKS but | was go|ng out later on w|th raean; |r|s; cheralyn; kathy; er|n; jenn; pw|nt & a surpr|se guest JOCE! Damn yah`ll must be th|nk|ng she must be t|red of POPCORN. Well so we went to watch WH|TE CH|CKS at 5;35 but |t was mad packed so we watchec at 7;00. Ter| was supposed to go but she had to go w|th her GRAMMY. That mov|e was hella funny, so funny that when | was dr|nk|ng my chocolate moo`d [jamba ju|ce] | sp|t |t on myself, shut up cheralyn! Oh yeah before the mov|e started | told alla them the truth about me lol |r|s, man |ym glad to fack|ng have you around also joce! So back to where i was, after they had to go so |t was joce; |r|s & |, we ate up at round table! We were just hella talk|ng, about when |t happened, s|nce when & alla that sh|t. At f|rst | was hella tr|ppen to talk to joce, l|ke hella worr|ed but now |s all coo foreal. |ym hella glad bout that day, but after that | headed home, that`s when alla th|s BULLCRAP happened. Whatever, sh|t got me th|nk|ng! Been|e yes | d|d |t aga|n, the truth |s | woulda prolly gone all the way |f ter| wasnt comfort|ng me. | knew my l|m|ts! Well that was a purty coo day, well the most was!
THURSDAY;
Well today was ok, | got my paycheck. Went to chuck e` cheese. Talked to raean and kathy, raean & were suppose to go out but d|dnt get to. kathy you st|ll gotta call me! Well | f|nally got my photos developed yes re | know k|nda late! | actually accompl|shed a lot today. | called back re [whoo whoo, called back paul, called chr|steen but no answer [hey | tr|ed], &talked to KELLEH [she |s |n the p|]. Well | was hop|ng to talk to a couple of people:
`baba [but why do | get my hopes up]
`ter| [|ono, man o man |r|s]
One more th|ng | accompl|shed, work on my xang_bang, l|ke the colors? yeap f|nally | have t|me! Well | am bout to go to bed now s|nce | know there |s noth|ng to look foward to. So bas|cally that was my day!
FOWARD`
Fr|DAY;
Maybe | have work s|nce | took a day off for saturday, m|ght go to paul`s party |f the parental lets me.
SATRUDAY;
Go out w|th westmoor heads, yes that means "no work" for me, hopefully Ter| can come! Em|nence?
SUNDAY;
WORK & plus that |s to far ahead lol!
ATTENT|ON`
`john you better call me when you get up there!
`volleyball august 16 or 13?
`great amer|ca july 17, can you come TER|?
`Next week |f anyone wants to go & reg|ster for volleyball camp up at WESTMOOR, tons of fun!!
`Older s|ster com|ng th|s weekend, ahem w|th her new boyfr|end, wants us to meet h|m? Make me cur|ous why?
`Camp Angel th|s weekend, w|th out youth group...
`Retreat?..K|nd of July 18-23 want to come? Call me
WRAP UP`
Thanks for v|s|t|ng my wacked up page,hope you enjoyed! Good night & sweet dream|ng! PRAY&GOD BLESS
PURE&TRUE,
yo` mama
ZEL`LERS | | |
| talking to teri
listenin to nothing
feeling purty coo
wel blah here is my entry there you go john i updated my xanger! mucho love
stay jelly & beans
zellers | | |
| MOOD: sad
HEADPHoNES: cherish/6,8,12/ simple things
PAUSING:
its over, before words are even said. you know its over when the person you love has lost interest. love is like tango, it takes two. i am lost in love right now, and seems i have no way out. all i ever do is get hurt, all i do is give, when is it my turn to receive? its feels like i should let go, but somehow i cant, im all torn up inside. why would someone not even respond to you at all, means they are avoiding you or a bad situation. i have gotten hurt but never this much. it feels like someone has torn the inside of you and your left hurt, you cant breathe. if someone wanted to do something, they would do anything to do that something. why would you spend a whole night with a "FRIEND" when you could have CALLED me, TEXTED me, anything. instead you chose not to, so what does this mean. people fall out of love [as marie said] but sometimes only one person of the relationship does. i cant go on like this, questions pass my mind yet they are not answered. its like you can hear me, but you dont listen. if you cared you would have never hurt me in such a way. i gave everything, what more can you ask for. all i ever thought about was you, it didnt matter if i got in trouble or worse, all i cared about was your happiness. now it is too much. people try to get people to fall in love with them, once they got them they stop, everyday you should act like you did trying to get them. its like hugs every second, kisses in between, but after a few months its more like one there one here. this situation is happenin all over again. theres shoobie, and you "friends" is that really what it is? i have cried so many nights and you have done nothing to show me you care, anyone can say "i love you" but it takes more than words for that to really mean something. i am really burning inside, its been a year and 4 months and now maybe it has been too long, maybe you have gotten tired. but i am tired of crying, and always bothering marie for help. why cant it be your turn to turn to one of your friends, to worry about us? maybe its all a joke to you, maybe your not the person i once feel in love with. you used to make my life brighter, you used to carry my heart, and make me blush, but now its like ok yeah whatever, uhuh i luuuh yah too. what ever happens happens, God has it in his hands. im just sick and tired of hurting, crying, moping, i need a break, for once dont let me cry. this is my ending to my confusion.
"cherish her love,
show her shes right when she belongs,
take care of her heart...
before shes gone"
gave you my heart,
zellers
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| QUOTE|| "You always hurt the one you love"
MoOD|| kinda sad conpuzed
EDIT|| wel i havent blogged agen in so long! sorry fran i didnt get to go to ur party. ill go there soon and just b like ol` times. i miss u too! well what can i say? LOVE what is that? right now i dont even know. is love suppose to hurt you so badly? its hard now, in other wards my heart always says words! what can i say people change. i am so conpuzed, its like one moment you love me the next ur avoiding me? damn ok hazel dont tear dont tear. no one will ever kno how i feel! ok move on to something else... so noe has been tryna make it better except marie and matt! widout those two i would b lost.just so many questions that can never be answered! LIES LIES LIES, words that are bent, gaddamn i just dont wanna talk right now! man its like just fack everything. everyone is for themselves. think about how others feel err! fack it, fack everything! iym tired of getting hurt, tryna make everyone else happy, marie is right... its not WORTH IT! | | |
| MoOD|| ok?
TRACK SPiNNiN|| wanna be close
EDiT|| i HAVENT BLOGGED iN HELLA YEARS! i HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY LATELY NOW! i GOT TO TALK TO MY BUDDY OL`PAL RONNiE! MiSS THAT HOMO..JK! JOHN UPDATiNG THEE SHiT FOR ME! NEED TO KNOW WHATS GOiN ON iN EACH OTHERS LiFE! MATT MEE THAT LOSER HAHA MiSS THAT GUY! SHOOT MATT BE PiMPiN! HELLA GUYS ON HiS JOCK HAHAHAHA! BUT YEAH JOHN HAS LET ME KNOW THAT HE HAS NOT MOVED ON! i AM SO TiRED NOW ERR i CAN HANDLE iT.. SHURE RiTE! FRUCK i GOT WERK TOMORW.. DAMN i HELLA MiSS BiBLE STUDY SHOOT! MiSS ALL YAH`LL THERE, FRAN, MIGUEL, ZSARINA, DONNA, RYAN, ETC. WEL PASSiON iS OUT ND i HELLA WANNA WATCH iHT! MAN TOMORW i HOPE i WiLL AFTER WERK ND SHAT! BHUT MAN i NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP! i AM ONLY UPDATiNG THiS CUZZA MATT! SEE HOW MUCHO i LOVE YOU LOL! LOVE LiFE HAS BEEN GREAT! i HAVE FALLEN iN LOVE ONCE AGEN! WELL AT LEAST iTS WiTH THE SAME PERSON HAH! i SWEAR EVERYDAY i FALL iN LOVE AGEN AND AGEN! iTS DiFF NOW, i SEE MY PRiORiTiES MORE. EVERYTiME i WAKE UP i JUST WANNA SEE BABA ND WEN i CLOSE MY EYES i WANNA B NEXT TO BABA! LiKE iM SO DEEPLY iN LOVE i GET THE HEEBY GEEBIES ND JUST LiKE GiGGLE! LOVE iS iN THE AiR! SO THATS ABOUT iT IMMAH FiNiSH UP LATER OK!
GOOD MORNIN MATT! FHOOL HERE iS IT OK U HAPPY NOW! HAVE A GREAT DAY OK MATT! iLL TALK TO YOU LATER! HOPE U ND JENN SETTLED THiNGS OUT! DiD i TEL U iF i DO GO PROM iMMAH MAKE iT MY WAY! LOL HEHE IMMAH BRING SOMEONE SAGGY ND OL` LOL![[ iNSIDE JOKE]] | | |
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